Being '24'

      I attended a wedding today. A beautiful wedding..wonderful pair of bride and groom..lovely canopy made out of flowers..it was everything a girl would wish for..
     The beginning  of the occasion was high spirited.. and I presume everybody knows what  goes around in the weddings (read : gossip, looking out for eye candies, the tug of  teasing between the young guys and gals over the footwear of the groom )..everything is outright bright and sunny!

   Somehow there was this uneasiness which gripped me in the end.. thoughts wouldn't cease running past my mind.. why this custom of a girl leaving her house to stay at somebody else's? Will a man ever realise what the pain of  'bidaai' is? Will he ever realise that  a girl is not 'exaggerating'  the entire issue? Will he ever know that it's not just ' leaving one house and staying in another house '?

   I dread to think what their house will be like now.. A family of 4 , with one gone.. will surely 'feel' empty.
With daily ablutions setting in.. the mother will cook the usual, clean the house, watch TV.. but 'something' will always be absent..a feeling of  voidness.. a constant feeling of  'someone' gone..for a mother that someone was what made her 'complete'..
The father will go about his daily business.. like all fathers do..he will get  fruits or sweets someday.. and there will be 'one' less person to share it with..

I cannot even explain what pained me.. was it that..  I will be in her place one day..? Or I will be a mother of a girl to send off her in the coming future ? Or if after me..who will fight with my mother..kiss her every three hours...blame her for everything that has gone wrong with cooking that I did....will she miss my tantrums on clothes.. my burnt rotis.. taunting me around.. feeding me when I am miffed at her.. or  rather just 'me' in the house?

I always wondered.. what is it that makes a girl turn into a woman.. I also ended up thinking of late..its the loss of her virginity.. But today I realised it is the send off that makes her turn into a strong woman..from the girl who would cry miserably otherwise.. she turns into a woman who controls her tears just so that her family doesn't 'see' her  crying..while inside she is crumbling into pieces..and each piece dissolves into the tears she silently sheds inside her heart..

I also know what makes a man weak.. his daughter's bidaai.

Today I  become worldly wise.





Very true ringing thoughts. But isn't it general part of everyone's life, gender not withstanding?

Kids finish college, get a job in another city, leave.

Or if not that early, after marriage, often couple prefers to setup their own home?

So 'bidaai' of some kind is for parents of any kid, daughter or son.

Confused Soul

It's sad that girls have to leave their house, but I think it somewhere makes them responsible...more aware of what their life is going to turn in to...

Fortunate are those, who get a lovely groom and in-laws... I look forward to the D-day but also dread the thought of having to separate from my kin... Because no matter how loving another family might be, they cannot be a substitute for our parents..

Lovely post Nupur... Keep blogging! And thanks for commenting on my blog post... :)


Awesomely written!! True to the core... But the custom is more prevalent in India... Elsewhere the kids leave their parents home much earler but then this is what has tied us to our roots..


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